Unsent Messages

something came up in my snap memories the other day that reminded me of you. and I hadn't thought of you in so so long. and then the WEIRDEST thing happened. I was driving and looked over and there you were. I used to think about you all the time, you consumed me, and it was pointless because you had no love for me. And all I did was embarrass myself. But now I never think about you. I don't know if you heard, but I'm sure you may have. I moved on. Found love. And I'm doing so well. In fact, I'd argue I've never been doing better. I think I met the love of my life. I actually knew he when I knew you but not in the way I know him now. I look at him and I see my whole future. And you're my past and I think you're an important part of my past because you broke me - and in that I became who I am today. But when I was at my lowest, I found the people who love me. My stunning friends, my lovely boyfriend. They're my people now. And I want them in my life forever. When I do think of you, however brief it is, I think of how young I was. How desperate for love and attention I was. I wonder if we would have been different if you met me now. Weird to think about. All those what if's and such. I look back fondly on my memories with you, but also shudder at the pain attached. You're one of those people I will never forget, but I don't think about very often. In fact I think I've only thought about you twice in the past 8 months maybe? When that came up in my snap memories, and when I got the same type of car you have. Not as fancy as yours but she runs well. Anyway. That's it. I hope you're well. I hope you've done everything that you wanted to achieve and more. I hope you find a girl soon here that you love deeply, and that you are happy in ways you thought you could only imagine. Because I know I am. Thank you for making me who I am today. I owe you one