Unsent Messages

i dont hate you. i just hate the feeling of still loving you and not being able to get over it. i didnt want to leave and youre still hung up on my mind all the time. i know i cant take back the pain ive caused you to go through and i dont know how to express how sorry i am even though its probably pointless because it cant fix anything now.’ive wanted to reach out to you so many times but ive just always felt too ashamed and scared of rejection. idk. a part of me keeps wanting to think we might still have a chance but in reality i guess i just have to let you go if it’s how its meant to be. cam, thank you for everything. you made me feel like i was on top of the world. i know how much you cared about me and i never wanted to hurt you at all. i wanted to protect you by letting you go bc no one wanted us together but instead that fucked up everything more, especially the connection between us. i regret nothing more than being such a shitty ex all these years. i dont deserve you and thats the truth. goodbye.