Unsent Messages

Before you start reading put on This beautiful place by Vincent boot
Try getting a visual, and read as this song plays.


Just noticed I had sent in the draft rather than the actual well written one; But let me start from here. I still really, really love you Kian. But this girl is crazy In love with you, that's rather beautiful, just looking at lovers flourishing in between their own eyes, you brush her mind every single time your name pops upon her screen, she maybe gives out a brief laughter or a small giggle, she smiles at your small messages one by one, reading every word out loud perhaps. I know that though, because I'd give the same reactions over and over again, not being worn out by them; Sometimes murmuring soft spoken words I never told you, saying the certain doings you loved out loud. Even saying your name felt right on the tip of my tongue, rather onto you as well if you know what I mean by that. You'd keep me up at night, having something to think about, rather now it's plain and quiet. I don't wake up to the sound of my lips resting on my glossy face, nor do I wake up to my hair reaching my ears, firmly brushing my eyes. Now I'm surrounded by feelings I barely know, that It’s like kicking a can from the ground. I miss calling you mine, or rather at night calling you a lover underneath heated breath. I can't properly write you something when my mind wonders onto something else. I'm probably not the only one in someone else's mind though, maybe for the best. I know among soft hands and bubble blossomed kisses yours are the only one I want onto my small body. I only want yours when they’d come onto me, you’d touch me in many different ways and without a doubt I fell off. I loved feeling your warmth, I still do but using past tense is rather better so we could firmly move forward. Certainly I’ve been different about it, but I can’t do much but watch you fall onto deep voids of another. That is what’s keeping me from feeling some kind of frustration towards you. I doubt I’d come back for now, watching you fall in love once more is a real beauty when you seem to have this sort of irony with her. I deny the fact I’m in love with you, I always will, no matter how the temptation irrupts out of me, It’s better that I stand in the crowd watching you meet eyes with another maybe then I’ll understand that we were both young and didn’t know better.
Yours truly Joanna Marie.