Unsent Messages

I wish I could tell you I’m thankful for you today, but I can’t. We’re not supposed to be talking. I wish I could tell you that you’ve made me feel so happy, but I’d be lying because you hurt me a few days ago. Yet if you texted me today, I’d drop everything and talk to you.
I’m thankful for you. The comfort you gave me, the smiles we shared, your laughs at my bad jokes, the way you used to protect me. When I was cold you would wrap your arms around me but yesterday as we stood in the cold sharing our goodbye. With my teeth chattering you kept your distance. I wish I could talk to you about this panic feeling I have knowing that we are over. I wish I could know how you are feeling and be there for you but you don’t want me to be. It sucks to know I wasn’t gonna be your person. But hurts more knowing you tried to like me but you couldn’t. You can’t force the heart to want someone but you also can’t force the heart to not want someone. Yesterday sucked and I wish I could have said all this but my mind was blank and I was trying not to cry. Also just know I’m never gonna forget the special dates to you 9/27, 10/10, 12/6 and 7/20. I’ll be cheering you on and I hope you know I only want the best for you, and if that’s not me then I have to accept that. Your gonna do great Lib.