Unsent Messages

and i've only allowed you to touch me, i remember your skin burning, i remember you wouldn't speak a word and you'd usually be breathing hard.. was it bad or you really loved me?
i will never forget that night we made love in the shower. when i was pushing myself almost into you, you said: "ufff i just wanna go into you sometimes so much". thanks for waiting for me to be ready. but in that moment, not only i wanted you so much, but i truly felt like a woman. you are not a very dominant nature and i am too much, yet i wanted to be weaker than you so much. i hated my strength of character and my charisma, because i just wanted to feel you were more powerful than me. is this just toxic love? or do i love u so much i wish to burden myself to feel you higher than anyone. idiolize you.
you could not stand for me, but i still wanted to show you and clap for you. i loved you and it hurts to know none will ever be able to love you half as much as i did. you might never realise that, but i hope you will. because i am willing to go to hell and back for you.