Unsent Messages

This will be my final message here. Once again, you most likely won’t ever read this just like the last one. I’m glad you found peace, because everyone deserves to find what makes them feel good. To find where they’re most safe and comfortable. Someone asked how I felt, my response was “as much as it sucks, as much as it hurts. I’m glad they took the steps they needed to ensure they would be okay mentally. Obviously this wasn’t good for them, and in the end it became unwell for me too. That being said I hope it only continues to get better for them. As for myself, I’ll try my best too.” I don’t know what kind of person you think of me as but I hope that the time spent doesn’t feel like a waste. I hope that the times we laughed a lot, smiled, yelled, cried, and wished are moments you can look back on fondly instead of painfully. I will cherish each memory. one day when I’m strong enough to look back on them I hope to smile. I don’t think you ever realized how much you meant to me. After ‘that’ happened I remember saying I missed you. You said you were surprised and didn’t think I would. I remember thinking to myself. ‘How could she not know that each moment we don’t talk I miss them? I’ve thought I said it before.” Thinking now, maybe I didn’t say it enough. I don’t know how you felt or what you were thinking. Truthfully I don’t think you knew what I felt or thought either. Being misunderstood, I think we both misunderstood eachother. Maybe even at this moment we still do. We did things out of good intentions for the other but even with good intentions things can still come across completely opposite of what you might think or have wanted them to. That’s what I think at least. I could go on and on explaining my thoughts or intentions with every action but that would take too long and quite frankly you most likely don’t care anymore and won’t even read this. I want to say
Your experiences are yours yes, but don’t ever invalidate someone else’s. (Not to say you are, maybe this is more of a note to myself than to you) There are always two sides to every story. I tried hard to see yours and I’m sorry I couldn’t. I still never spoken badly of you to anyone. Even on here, the depressed heart broken teen messages on here? Yeah that’s me. You can tell I’m sure, I hope not to be confused with other messages here.( since toxic and hypocrite were ones you thought) Will you believe me? Probably not. I did try my best not to lie to you ever, even if the truth would hurt and sometimes I wish I just lied instead. Once again you’re most likely not reading this haha. It’s 11:11 as I type this. Wow. Ahh so much to say so little space. This note... i find it hard to end it. But I must.. I will finish with this. I loved you so much, that sometimes the emotions scared me. No not in a romantic way.. but platonic best friend way. I was never comfortable with those words. To this day I’m still not and much less now. But for a time you taught me it was okay to say it. And with you I felt comfortable to do so. So thank you for that. There are many kinds of soulmates in the world. I still think you’re one of them just not in the way we always said we were. I still worry, I still care. But all I can do now is just wish you a good life. I hope you have a life where you’re never alone. And that you have much love around you. That you get to accomplish your dreams and live how you truly want to. I hope you have people to go to when you’re low, and people to cheer for you when you’re at your highest. Thank you for everything, I hope it wasn’t all painful. As I said once, regardless where we are if you need someone I’ll always be here for you no matter what the hell happened or happens. Don’t ever forget that. People grow and people change maybe one day we’ll meet again when we’re ready. In this life .. or another. This is it my final Goodbye.