Unsent Messages

By the time you read this I’ll be far away from this little town. I’m writing this as a closure letter, actually in all reality I’m writing this because I saw it on Tv. I don’t want you to remember me as an evil person or someone who intentionally meant to hurt you. Because I didn’t and I’m not an evil person. after our breakup my mindset was that you were a selfish prick who didn’t deserve my love. But in reality you were just a teenage boy. We were so young making plans that were way beyond us.. and that’s why I feel we never worked out. Our whole situation was too complicated.. what teenagers go through a situation like little bean? Yanno. That alone was one of the biggest signs on why we weren’t meant to be. And everything prior to that.. there were so many signs but we just ignored them all. That’s why we never ended on good terms. No matter what went down between us I always tried to remember the good, I’m not sure if you hate me to this day or still think I’m this “stupid hoe”. Which by the way ?? Anyway hahah. But the good is what matters. not the fights. I thought hating you was going to make me forget you faster but it didn’t, it did the complete opposite. I thought making you hate me and think that I was this type of person would just make things easy for me. It didn’t, it just made you treat me horribly and talk bad about me. Once I finally realized that forgiveness was the answer to my heartache everything changed for me.. I stopped thinking of you as an evil person. I stopped questioning my worth. I stopped trying to create this image of me in your mind. It was like my mind was completely cleansed. I hope you feel this way about the whole us situation, or that you eventually do. I’m sorry for wasting your time, when I should’ve just let you go. I’m sorry for being selfish and not letting you be the you that you wanted to be. I wish you nothing but amazing things in life. I pray you receive what you work for you. I thank you for all the wonderful memories you created in my high school experience. And most importantly I forgive you Jacob Garrett. I truly believe you are destined to do great things in your life.