Unsent Messages

Dad, i dont think you know the amount of pain you cause me. i hate the way everyone feel. you fucking hurt mom and gage so much. when i see kids playing with their dads it makes me so sad, and mad because i wish i had those memories. i hate watching the kids down the street. they wait until their dad comes home, because they love you. I wait until you come home, so i can mentally prepare. dad, you tell me im over dramatic, but do you know what it feels to listen to your mom talk about how she wants to divorce your dad, but doesnt have enough money? i feel so weak, yet so strong at the same time. you gave me anger issues, but not a stable relationship with you. daddy i miss the old time when i loved you, and you didnt make me feel like shit. dad do you know how many times ive cried while you were watching tv? dude im so tired of acting like everything is okay. because it fucking isnt. dad youve fucked up this family. gage isnt graduating, and your daughter is a fucking mess. dad when i used to cry youd tell me to stop acting like a baby. you would yell at me to stop. you would punish me for have HUMAN FUCKING EMOTIONS. dad i cant wait until i can tell you all this. bro i fucking hate the way you make me feel. bruh i want you out of my life. i dont want you at my wedding. im walking down it fucking alone. because i had to be there when you werent. which was a fucking lot. there are so many studies that youre "parenting skills" fuck up kids. you play so many mind games. i literally dont know what to do. i have no one who is there for me in my fucking life. i cant change the past, but i dont know what to do in the future. its just me, but thats how you raised me, right?