i hate you. i truly do. you were selfish, manipulative, toxic, controlling, cruel. and yet i still feel as if it could be all my fault. you scarred me. i’m a different person in a bad way. i want to kill myself everytime i think about when we dated. so embarrassing all the stupid shit i would do for you. all the friends i lost. i lost myself. and i’m sure you’re unaffected but i still cringe i still rage i still cry. i want to punch you i want you to feel how you made me feel. and yet i still blame myself.