Unsent Messages

i still can't believe you're gone. it's been two weeks since i found out. i can't get you out of my mind. the only thing i can think about is how you died only hours after i held you in my arms under the moon. i should have kissed you. i should have been brave and kissed you. i was so mad at myself after because i hadn't. 'next time,' i thought. 'next time i'll kiss her and tell her i love her.' but there wasn't a next time, marie, you were gone before i could hold your soft hands in mine again. i miss you more than i thought was possible. i loved you. i should have told you. what a life we could've had. the night we danced under the moon was also the night you died. i cannot think of one and not the other. you were heaven-sent into my arms, but it was time for you to go home. i know that now. it still hurts to breath when i think of you. i would do anything to be with you again. which is why i'm writing this, so you won't be surprised when i show up in the afterlife a few decades before i'm supposed to. i know you wouldn't want me to, but quiet frankly, blondie, you're dead and it isn't really your decision. i'll see you soon.