Unsent Messages

I knew better than to reach out to you before I left, but I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. It’s so embarrassing that I’m still ruminating on this, but whenever I think about it my whole body cringes.

I remember feeling like we could’ve been really good friends when we met. Opening up to you was easy, and that scared me. I never wanted to bother you or make you uncomfortable. I was anxious and insecure about it the entire time. I could never tell if you liked me as a person or if you were just too nice to tell me otherwise. I’m fairly certain it was the latter considering how things ended, but I should’ve picked up on that much sooner.

Maybe I gave the wrong impression, but I never wanted to make anything out to be more than it was. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about the possibility of it being more at one point, but I never expected anything beyond a platonic friendship (not that I would’ve actually told you that—you liked somebody else who was better for you anyway).

I can tell that you’ve been through a lot, and I really hope that you get the help you deserve. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. I would say I’m sorry and that I’d take it all back if I could, but I still think both of us need to work on apologizing less.