i'm so sorry. i fucked up bad. i never meant to hurt you so bad. i would beg you for forgiveness but i know you're better off without me. but if you could just acknowledge my existence for about 5 minutes i would be able to really apologize and give you the explanation you deserve. it wasn't about you not being enough, which is probably what you're thinking. it was because i hate myself and never allow myself anything good in life. you were good. you were so good. and i lost you. i crushed you. i hate myself for it. i'm so sorry. you deserve so much better than me. but it still hurts. i'm so sorry.