Unsent Messages

I have spent so much time thinking of the summer we went away. I go over every single detail. Every conversation. Every feeling. Playing it back thinking of how it could’ve gone differently. I can’t stop thinking about u and it’s consumed so much of me. And it’s silly and I hate myself for going back there and examining and exhausting every detail. It has been spoiled in my mind, turned inside and out. And the sad reality was that it was such an insignificant moment wasn’t it? It was awkward and distant. I truly don’t think anyone was to blame but I always end up blaming myself. So much could’ve been, in such a beautiful place with such a beautiful person. Honestly I’d rather stop thinking about u, it’s developed into habit and i have to physically shiver to not go back and try and try again different outcomes. I’m so tired. I’m so tired of thinking about u.