Unsent Messages

dear you,
i wish i could tell you how fast i fell for you. it happened so fast and sudden, it mde my head spin. your face has been stucked in my head since the first day i met you. i remember it clearly. you smile reaching your eyes, making them sparkle. you were waving at me while my eyes were stuck on your features. tall and broad, you were so intimidating. it's like time froze and seeing you for the first time will forever be in my mind. i texted you after the game, saying you did a great job just like i did to everyone and that's when you started to make my heart fluttter. texting constantly, we still do. making me feel special with your goodnight and goodmorning texts. i catched feelings fast. i talked to everyone about you, and they all told me to have trust in you, saying you were so sweet and gentle. and you are. but not only to me. to every other girl in you snap. my heart clenches a little bit everytime you talk about one of them. my brother told me a guy like you could never go for a girl like me. boring, innoncent, not popular, weird interests, while you are friends with everyone and making the room light up every time you walk in. i often think about how much i hate you. i hate that i have a soft spot for you and that you use me for it. do you only hang out with me for the money and the clothes? i hate that everytime i am aroung you, i forget how to act. i guess it's time for me to let go and acept the fact that you only want a friend in me. thank you for the butterflies you gave me, and the hope that filed my heart. thank you for looking out for me and praising me when no one did. making me eat even tho i didn't want to. i think i have a deep regard on you, and i hate that for me. i guess i'll be seeing soon, the next time we hang out. i'll try to keep my distances from you, but im begging you, do it to. i can't move on from you if you pull me towards you. i need to heal. i'm sorry if i come off as rude, i'm trying what's best for me. and if, somehow, you feel the same way, show me a sign. until then, take care and most importantly, let me go.