Unsent Messages

hey its me again. this is the third message I've sent in the last 10 minutes because I keep thinking of more things to say to you. I'm sure you loved me at one point, maybe. But you never could figure out how to love me right with out hurting me 10x more. It's always been her and it will always be her. I'm not upset about that. I was at first, but if she's what makes you happy, then I hope you don't destroy her like you did to me. I know I caused you problems, I'm not ignorant to that fact. But you seem to be doing so much better. I however, still get intense panic attacks because of you. I can't even sleep because all I do is dream of you and when I wake up, I have to deal with the pain all over again. You knew how much I was struggling, and you made it worse on purpose, because you wanted me to hurt. And for that I will never forgive you. I'm not even sure if I love you anymore. and that's the worst feeling because since my freshman year i would say that you and I are meant to be, that you were my soulmate. But sometimes, soulmates aren't meant to be and they end up doing more harm than good. Please please get help. You need it. because you not getting help led me to needing more help because of the shit you put me through.
from, a loser who was once yours