You need to tell them what’s going on. When they ask how are you. Tell them not good. Don’t hide behind your smile anymore. Tell them how sick you’ve been and how you don’t know if or when you’ll get better. Tell them how scared you are about all the unknowns about your health issues. Tell them that you force yourself to eat because your don’t have the will to do it anymore. Tell them how you don’t leave your room because it’s your safe place. Tell them how fake that smile is. And how lonely you are. And how alone you feel even though your surrounded by people. How even though you laugh and smile your hurting inside. How you’ve convinced everyone your doing great when really. Full honesty. Your not. Your doing bad. But you don’t tell anyone because you don’t want to look selfish. Or needy for attention. Or because they will say yeah me too as a joke but your really actually doing bad. Be honest with them. They love you. And they’ll still love you even in your worst. And even through the darkness that you feel consumed in. Because they are your light and you need them. So look in the mirror today and say you love yourself. Give yourself a compliment. Smile at yourself. Take the things you would change about yourself and say one thing you like about it. One reason it’s good. And if you can’t think of anything try again tomorrow. You are good enough to be loved and to love. So love yourself today because you deserve it.