you were always there when I needed somewhere to escape too, but now you cause me to pain to go. The love isn't so much anymore. it kills me to have slowly felt more and more disconnected from the very thing that has kept me healthy, fit, and never caused me trouble. I feel like I'm devoting my prime years to something that I can't see myself continuing for the rest of my life. there have been so many more pros than cons, but since I've always been told what to do at training, etc. I now struggle with much larger issues, my inability to make my own decisions in unbelievably weak, I'm a people pleaser so I keep on going, but when does it stop? when do I start making decisions for myself?