You were my first kiss. You started a three year spiral of stressing if I liked girls (spoiler alert, I do, I'm gay as fuck...well actually bi, or at least confused idk but I definetly like women). It took until this year to figure out I had a crush on you. But when you said it was only a dare that meant nothing to you at my birthday party, for some reason a part of me inside broke. That entire year was a mess. I remember sneaking out of school with you, you dared me to kiss you multiple times, I think you even said if I didn't jump the fence I'd have to kiss you. Did I imagine that? Why did you do that? Why did you get me to kiss you so many times? If it meant nothing? I think about it a lot. I can't listen to perfect by ed sheeran anymore, it makes me think of you, then I spiral and end up stressing for hours on end. Do you remember that song? Or why it reminds me of you? You probably don't. I'll tell you. I was listening to that song and a line made me think of you, I told you the next day at school, we said it was our song, we even got "married" XD. The line was 'we were still kids when we fell in love' little 10 year old me was in love? And that weird alien cult thing we started? That was weird as fuck. I wish I had the balls to really send you this but I'm way too scared to ever do it. Maybe I'll tell you to look up your name on this website. Maybe you'll do it yourself. Part of me hopes you'll never find out or see this, the other part is fighting me to not copy and paste it and send it to you right now. I hate how much that year meant to me. We were kids, it should've meant nothing, but I still think about it every day.