From: ABC
To: logan
Date: January 13, 2021, 10:45 am
I know this isn’t something you want to hear because you literally haven’t spoken to me. I have learned that sometimes I have the inability to love the “right” way but I did love you. Sometimes people self sabotage good things, like I did in regards to our relationship because I never thought I was worth of any of your time. But I just want you to understand, I never intentionally meant to offend, embarrass, or hurt you in anyway. It had nothing to do with you, I told you I loved you and I meant it but most of the time the thoughts in my head kinda take over. I can’t define the type of love I felt for you but it was love. I didn’t understand myself and therefore, I didn’t know what to do so I ruined it :( I definitely still have a lot to learn about relationships. I don’t say this to justify any of the things I did that may of affected you but I just wanted to offer a different perspective. I want to let you know that I’m still hurting and I think a part of me will always old onto that pain. For now, I can’t see anything good about the situation but I wish that one day I could careless like you but I don’t see that happening because that isn’t me. I would love to say let’s catch up sometime or let’s hope overtime time we can meet again but I don’t think I could actually say that. The truth is I liked you like I have never liked someone before and to be honest I wish the way this relationship ended didn’t affect me like you. But it did, and I have accepted that and I hope one day to believe that this was for the better. I’m glad we got to wish each other a happy new year but I wish it was an actual conversation but I feel so strange about all of this. I’ve been hurt before but it was never by someone I loved and cared for, so it’s a different kind of pain that I wasn’t ready for. I appreciate all the kind things you have said about me but I don’t respect the lies that were told to me by you. I am just so confused why you felt the need to lie to me when I could have understood you like I did in the beginning.