Unsent Messages

dear isla,
i miss you. i want the idea i have of you in my head to become a reality so badly it engulfs me. i still like you.

isla. why are you flirtatious with me? is it your personality? i pray it isn't. why do you go for people you know won't like you in the end. why do you ruin yourself and depress yourself?

isla, i want you to know that i want you. i'm too scared. your boyfriend seems perfect for you.

you're so out of my league. i just want you to know why you wouldn't like me back. is it social status? is it peer pressure? these are my thoughts. i'm too afraid to ask you, though.

i'm getting personal now.

i miss you already. and i want my idea of us to become real. i want the dreams of holding you and going on dates to be real because i know you would be better suited with me than anyone else.

i keep coming back to you. i've liked other people and yet i keep coming back to you. at this point it must be a sign. i don't understand. is the universe trying to tell me something?

you must like it too. you aren't like the way you are with me with any other boy except your boyfriend. it annoys me. he annoys me. and i don't like it. i'm not obsessed - although it may seem that way - i'm an over thinker and i always have been. and over thinking + this situation don't fit well with each other.

i would be so full with you, honestly. it's ridiculous how much i'm thinking about this now.

my message is probably unlike anyone else's on this site because it's to a crush and not an ex or an old friend. i'm hoping for the future.

i really hope we can be together, because you mean so much to me already. and i desperately manifest that you ignore your social aspect, it does you much harm.

i really am falling for you.

lots of love, me