Unsent Messages

There are so many things I want to tell you but I know you don't care about them and whenever I do I look like a fool but I need to do it because if I don't I won't be able to move forward, forget you, stop being stuck in you (or the mess of you) or however you want to tell him because I know that ours if at some point he existed that I felt that he did, because he already died, I do not feel the same for you as before but he did not leave completely or I feel sorry for someone else, maybe because I always had the hope that you were going to give me another chance but I know that that will never happen and not because I don't deserve it, you were wrong too and before me, but well, you already chose a long time ago and that is clear You love her and I'm happy for you but it hurts me that whenever you came back I was there for you and I feel like I'll always be there and I don't want to because every time you come back I leave everything at that precise moment just for the fact of concentrating on you And I know you didn't ask me and it's not what I want It is because you are not going to do it but I always choose you and I am even an option for you, you only have me there, you want sex but you cannot be clear enough, you no longer feel anything for me, and that It is evident, I do not know if for you it is a game or boredom because you have everything, however you come back to me and I do not understand why I do not know what to tell you I have several options and I know that you are going to tell me to choose the best for me, but no I can make that decision, the first is to give you what you want and put an end to this that is not right, maybe the whim will pass us both but I do not feel good doing it knowing that you are with someone else and what if the circumstances They would have been different that could be me and that you are failing him, I also think that you can have an open relationship and there I would not oppose anything, I also think that I can do nothing but that hurts me more because I hope for something that will not come , so my last option is to disappear from your life, and not Knowing nothing about you is the most reasonable and it won't hurt you so it's fine, that's what I'll do, it's the best for me.