for all I know this kid could be the love of my life. do I love him, great question. I’m young, do I really know what love is? maybe, it feels like it. it sure feels like there is something VERY strong between us. I’ve never felt so strong for someone and it feels a little something like love or whatever you would call it. I think he loves me. it feels so crazy that someone could feel this way about me. an emotional, ugly, needy, rude, not outgoing, home body, not social, sad all the time and yet he still feels like that. i might end up marrying him. who knows, this boy maybe could never fully get over me. the way he talks to me and about me omg it kills me of happiness and I just feel soooooo special. the memories and feelings I have and had with him I will never ever forget. he is my person. I was sitting in my dads car before and I was just playing my music through the speakers and it was dark and the lamp post’s were on and it was an atmosphere for thinking and just going over my life. all I could think about was him. he is all I ever think about. the day he moves my god will I be a wreck. he isn’t even far but idk it just isn’t sitting right with me. like I can’t get over it. I broke his heart and I will never forgive myself for it. yeah we’re young but my god it feels like we went through marriage and got divorced or something. like we have been to hell and back with each other and I don’t even know why he still wants to even associate with me. I’m actually a horrible person, but I can’t change anything. I did what I did and I can only make up for it. I’m trying I really am but it’s very confusing. if I could go back and do something different I would. I wouldn’t of hurt him and I would’ve looked at the good in the relationship and not the very minor bad things take over me. it was stupid. I think he’s asleep right now and I already miss him. I just wanna talk to him about anything cause if I’m talking to him I forget about everything else. I have never cared for someone so much in my life. he’s made such a warm place in my heart and forever will have a spot in my heart. fuck this is actually hard to write my god. I know everything I could possibly know about c. well I think I know mostly everything. he’s so strong. he has gone through a lot and have a look at him. he is so so strong and I’m so proud of him for everything he does. he is gonna go far, very far. this boy captured my heart. his mum omg I love her, she’s my best friend and c well I don’t have words really. you deserve the world honestly. I hope we reconnect in the future and we fall in love all over again and get married and have cute lil ranga or blonde kids with blue/hazel eyes and they will watch their dad play his favourite thing to do, footy. your gonna make the AFL I swear on it. we will show our kids what true love looks like because I know you grew up not being able to see that. I’ve never met anyone else like you, and I don’t ever think I will. no one has ever moved me the way you do. I never wanted to screw up us. when I first met you I would never have known that we would’ve gone through all this together. you can be mad at me or I could be mad at you but if you were down or needed something I’d be the first to be there. I wish you could hear the way I talk about you to my mum, to my friends. I know I’m young and I sound stupid saying all this and probably cliche but I’m being serious. I don’t know really how to explain it. I love u c