it's nearly a year since we last spoke. today i deleted some pictures of you. some of them i can't bring myself to. some of them i wish i never deleted. you were my best friend for four years. still, you remind me of summer and hope and laughter, sleepovers where we stayed up all night while everyone else slept. sometimes i miss you so much my bones ache with it, sometimes the thought of seeing you around town makes me sick to the stomach with dread. you saved my life. all i've ever wanted is to see you happy- i hope you finally are. i loved you more than i could ever say. thank you for bringing colour back into my life when i was plunged into the deepest darkness- for you, for those four years, i am eternally grateful.