From: ABC
To: nick
Date: November 10, 2020, 10:32 pm
hey blue. i really hope you dont see this but i loved you so much. so so so much. definitely more than you loved me i think. i never said this, but the symptoms of depression started when we got together. that entire time i was trying dismiss it and navigate myself and i shouldve spoken up. it wasnt your fault. idk why it started. i wanted to give you the world and now i can barely even talk to you. i always thought we wld be end game but why why why why did you think being so close with so many girls was okay. i had my heart broken so many times before we broke up by simply watching you not set boundaries. i wanted things to be okay and i didnt want to be controlling. im messed up sometimes and i know. i want to be better for you too. i really do. all i ever wanted was ur happiness. always before my own. i truly consider you my first love. always will be. i love you still, but in other ways. if watching you live hurts me, i wldnt want it any other way. best wishes