Unsent Messages

You were my first love. You made it so memorable thank you so much, I really didn't deserve you. Even when we weren't able to see each other for most of our relationship, I'm still very thankful for all the times we were side by side. I've had crushes before and dated before, but I truly believe you were my first love. I miss you and still love you. I'm sure, very sure you have by now moved on but I'll be very glad if you did. So then I know i'll never be yours again and move on as well. I remember that night when someone told me that you liked me. I was so happy and had so many butterflies I couldn't sleep that night. That very second I added you back I was so nervous to send that first text. I recognized you ever since 7th grade. I'd see you pass by in the mall or seen you in band concerts, I remembered your face, but never your name, until 8th grade. I would of never guessed that we'd end up like this. In the future, If we end up talking again, I want you to know I never want to date again, I simply cannot, because I just know the second time will be too much to recover from, we just can't anymore, I'm sorry.
Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, I loved everything about you, I still feel weird expressing myself haha :D). Never got to send you that playlist I made for you oops :0. I'm sorry I always rejected your compliments, I loved them so much, I loved it when you called me pretty, It's my favorite adjective ahaha. I'm sorry I said I didn't believe you when you said you loved me. A part of me told me to believe you, because every small gesture you gave me always said "i love you". But another part of me felt like I was being lied to, like you were saying that just because, with no actual intention. This was nothing to do against you. I've been lied to numerous times please give me some patience.
There's something or more like somethings I wanna ask you.
Do you know what my favorite color is? What about when my Birthday is, or my zodiac sign?
What are my goals in life, Both academically and emotionally? What are some of my favorite snacks? Favorite shows? Favorite hobbies? What was my past like? But more importantly, what was something about me that made you fall in love with me, that is if you were in love with me. Sometimes I wish I never met you so I didn't have to lose someone that is so cool, amazing, adorable, relatable, attractive,
and so many other things I simply just cannot describe and put into words. So this is what it's like to be in love. You've already had your first love and you were already someone else's first love, I guess you could say I next on that list ahaha :P. It really does hurt when I know damn well I wasn't someone's first love :D. This is all I wanted to say. I know you might never read this but at least I finally put it into words, or tried to. Bye bye please take care and always appreciate the small things in life Bryan, It'll definitely change your perspective in life. Love your next lover like there's no tomorrow, like there is no hope in tomorrow, as if you might never see them in person again, always make sure your last words to them are I love you. :D))