Unsent Messages

u pinky promised u wouldnt leave me and u did and i always told myself i wouldnt fall for u because of my last heartbreak hurting so much but u were just different. i miss the things we had and i hope u still make a wish at 11:11 even if its with someone else, i cant listen to forever in blue jeans anymore and its one of my favourite songs because u showed me it. i hope when u listen to frank sinatra or bruno mars you think of how happy we were. you come home tomorrow and i cant even begin to explain hoe much these next 2 days are going to hurt, you were meant to pick me up on friday and we were gonna spend the day together. the night you texted me asking about meeting mummy and daddy filled me with so much happiness you dont even understand, when you told me you'r mummy and max would love me i nearly cried. i hope you still think of me and one day youll text me again. i cant stop blaming myself for you leaving me, my trust issues pushed you away and i just want you back. the chance youre texting someone else and smiling at someones text kills me. i miss when id catch you staring at the phone and id ask what u were looking at and youd just smile, the times when we'd argue over who loved who more. i told u id win and i did. i want to play hangman with you again or imessage games. its all my fault what we had is gone. youre constantly on my mind eating my thoughts. anything i ever talk about always traces back to you somehow. every red volkswagon polo i see reminds me of what we couldve had if i didnt fuck everything up. i just want to know if you really meant anything you said if you left me that quick and easy.