Unsent Messages

this is my second time writing you a letter in this website. it's not because i couldn't find the other one but today marks a special day that i know you don't remember. today marks the first year we've bid our farewells to each other. not permanently leaving each other's lives but promising to look for better halves we deserve. for me, it's been a year yet i've always wanted it to be you. i think it's always been you. you're my first love and i wasn't yours so i understand that. you keep coming back to her, i keep coming back to you. you're both two puzzle pieces fitting each other and i completely bamboozle the puzzle by forcing you to fit on to another part of the picture. it's so wrong but it feels so right for me. i didn't feel anything the moment you said, "i don't want this anymore." not a single part of me felt shattered for a second, it was utter silence and a numb expression. i said "but it's you," and you just said, "but i don't want to anymore." it only took me an hour later, and even more so about a year, before i got to realize how much you meant to me and how i didn't wanna lose you. i loved you too much, i knew letting you go to someone you loved most is the best option. and yes, you seem happy. you really do. we didn't completely cut off our ties as we still communicate sometimes, but do know... i wish it were everyday. happy one year since our breakup, bb. you're still the one in my heart.