I never called you by your name. It’s been over a year now. I still cry almost every day. I still don’t understand anything. Just when I think things are better something happens and I realize they aren’t. It’s so hard to realize life is about the things that are real. But the people involved can be so broken that they hurt each other. Realizing I was the problem. Realizing I hurt you. These days my biggest hope is counting down the days of this life. Hoping the next one I’ll have a chance to make it right.