i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry for what i did to you. i never meant to lead you on like i did. i really liked you. it might not’ve seemed like it but i did. i fell for you but i was petrified. petrified of loving another man after the way he treat me. i’m sorry i blocked you and stopped you getting in contact with me. sorry that i hurt you after i promised i wouldn’t. i still think about you. a lot actually. more
than i should. those feelings arent there anymore but i know that if we ever talked again they’d come back. i’m sorry for hurting you just like she did, removing you out of my life and acting like you didnt exist. it wasnt your fault at all. we weren’t good for eachother. we would’ve been so bad together because i wouldn’t know how to treat you. every relationship i’ve been in has been bad. they’ve hurt me in many ways and made me feel like i deserve it. i know how it feels to be led on. to fall for someone and then them act like you never existed. i’m so sorry i made you feel like i once did. i feel like shit for hurting you. dare i say i even loved you at one point. my friends told me you weren’t good for me. told me you were too old and not trustworthy because we’d never met. but i trusted you. the way i fell for you felt different. you were so sweet and supported me through everything. i’m so grateful you were a part of my life and god call me stupid for crying over what i did but i regret it so much. sometimes i think of what life would be like if i kept you here. we’d be together. you would’ve saved me from this hell. we would’ve supported eachother and been happy. you made me want to be a better person. made me want to fall in love again. i’m sorry they made me believe their lies. told me you were using me for stuff i never wanted. told me you were just a fuck boy who wanted to get in my pants. but i know that wasnt you. it was just the act you put on. i knew the real you yet i still believed them. i’m so sorry i did. i miss you. i wish things were different. wish we were still friends. i know you’ll never forgive me. you were the type to forget instead. you probably dont even think about me anymore, moved on to bigger and better things. i’m proud of you. i know i used to say that to you a lot but im so fucking proud of you. i love you so much. even if its plutonic i love you. i’m so sorry for hurting you. it was never intentional. i was just insecure and stupid. i’m so sorry. if you ever see this i want you to know that i want to try again. that sounds so stupid after everything but i want to. you blocked me on everything and will probably never see this but i want to. want to fall in love again. want to support you through everything. i want to be friends. i’m sorry. i love you