Unsent Messages

I don’t even know where to begin. You hurt me. You broke my heart and shattered my soul. I cared for you so much. Every morning, when the sun came up and showered us with it’s beautiful orange light, I thought of your face smiling down at me. Every night, when the stars came out and the moon graced us with its presence, I thought of the way you would hold onto me when you fell asleep ever so peacefully. I didn’t know you for long, but I felt more for you in 3 months than I did for anyone else in all my years of living. I know I am still young, but sometimes I can’t help but think our short, beautiful time together is all I will ever have. We had a lot of great memories together and you made me feel so much. Hell, you even made me fall in love with the color orange. But for the longest time, I tore myself apart because of something that happened to inconvenience you. You were so sweet, but you were so goddamn selfish. If I were given the chance to go back to us, I know I would’ve jumped at it. But I’ve finally realized that I deserve more. At some point you were my everything. But now, you are nothing to me but a distant memory. I pity the person you have become. You use to be so bright-eyed and genuine. When I look at you now, I see an empty shell of a man, and that’s so fucking sad. I hope one day you realize that you’re not the person you pretend to be, that you’re capable of so much. But I refuse to let myself hang onto your ghost in hopes that I will be the one to fix you. I know now that it’s foolish to believe such trivial things. Please, for your own sake, grow up. All I could ever want for you is true happiness, even if it’s not with me. Take care of yourself, baby boy.