i just erased everything i wrote by accident. i miss the crook of your neck. do you remember the night that we watched that movie and you were just so beautiful. i miss how happy you made me. you made me feel safe. i had you. you were the first for a lot of things, but you were the first boy to ever make my chest hurt from sadness. the physical embodiment of heartbreak. i wish i said i love you but the words felt like they wouldn’t come out. i wish i wish i wish i wish i wish. when does it stop sucking so bad?