i don’t really miss you anymore, i more just feel an overwhelming sense of disappointment. i gave you so many chances and you fucked them all up. i wish you would tell it like it is. why do you have to lie? is it from pride or just from being a bad person? don’t go around saying you didn’t love me, that i just couldn’t bare to see you with her, that i was the problem. i wasn’t. be a man and own your mistakes. seriously, i say that for your own good, because the guilt of everything is coated under the distraction of all the girls you have added to your collection, now who are tired and lifeless. i wish you could read everything i’ve written you since we ended- it’s a lot. you are the focus of many poems and letters and paragraphs. but i’m writing them less and less. i still think about you but like i said, i don’t miss you. i wouldn’t want someone like you in my life. i’m glad you are gone. :) i’m just mad that it could have all been different. look at that, you made me mad! i’ve felt anger now because of you. wow. this is yet another entry i have first addressed with colby but changed to c because i don’t want to hurt your feelings or hear this much from me. i am a good person. that was one of the only things you were right about. you should have treated me like one! i saw the best in you even when i was the only person you didn’t morph into what seemed shiny and new in front of. you showed me your worst and only your worst for weeks on end and i still saw the best and loved you. loved. i don’t love you anymore. you don’t even have a special place in my heart. you have a special place in the small small part of my gut that feels anger. that is where you lye. not up in my heart with people who have been good to me. i fell in love with the bare minimum and frankly, that messed me up. i have multiple guys being so so sweet to me and wanting to take me out but i still can’t really accept real adoration and kindness from a boy. you engrained in me that i wasn’t worthy of that. of course you didn’t know what you were doing, but you did it. i’m getting better though. the further away from you, the closer i am to self love.