From: ABC
To: myself
Date: November 20, 2020, 5:48 am
i miss the old you, the you that wouldn't let anyone get to her and would blast music and just be happy. now you blast music to get rid of the world and you never smile, the sparkle in your eyes left, yet your parents still haven't noticed. i'm sorry. things will get better, you always say and act as if you weren't in pain. you make sure everyone is good before you let it out, but no one cares. i miss the you that cared about school and if they were late or missed class, the one that would laugh at everything and would smile everyday. i miss the you that would answer his call in a heartbeat, but there was always something unhappy about you, you just finally started to show it. even during your worst times you kept a smile on your face, but now even at your best times there are no smiles just staring into the distance. you have a couple of friends that kind of care but at the end of the day its just you... they do care but no one knows how to help people they just try to distract you from your thoughts but they never ask why or what the thoughts are. it's okay, they broke you, you didn't know that you couldn't take hurt. physical pain doesn't fuck with you anymore its all emotional now. i'm sorry i let you get to this i hope one day you'll remember this and be happy that you grew. i really hope you find someone who will listen to you bc no one knows the whole story. i need someone to understand you and just listen from your birth till now. even your best friend doesn't know you. failure, i'm sorry. please smile again. youre alive but youre not living.