Unsent Messages

since the day we met we’ve had an insane connection. i rlly do think that we’re “right person wrong time”. u always mess w my head. u never give me a chance. u just use me. i’ve lost so many friends bc of u. we never have even “ talked” but i’ve never liked anymore more than u. i’ve liked u since the day i met u. it really sucks seeing u with all these other girls. everyone says to just get over u bc u don’t like me & never will. but i can’t get over u. no matter how hard i try. ur always in my mind. idk why. it has to mean something tho. if u gave me a chance ik we would work great together. but i can’t force u to do anything. i just wish i meant something to u. u treat me awfully but i still will not say anything bad abt u. i just feel so comfortable w u. u have such a way w words. but apparently u talk to every girl like that. u act like u want me one day then won’t talk to me for days. i’m not mad u don’t want me. i’m just mad bc sometimes u act like u do. everyone knows i like u. i tell everyone abt u. ik your a jerk to me but i know ur a good person inside and have been through so much shit. u deserve so much. no one will ever treat u better than i could. i would literally give u anything & everything u wanted. i’ve never hated & liked someone more at the same time. i’ve tried to move on but ur always on my mind no matter what. even if i liked another guy i’ll still always like u. idk why u mean so much to me. like i rly don’t know why i like u. but i know this is all happening for a reason. idk if we’ll end up being friends, strangers, or dating. i wish i knew. god has a plan tho. i wish u the best no matter what. i sound crazy writing all this stuff bc ik u don’t like me & never have. if u gave me a chance & saw things how i see things i know we’d work out. we can never stay away from each other so it has to mean something . idk why u keep messing w my feelings tho. i don’t think i’ve ever cried harder abt any boy than i have over u. whenever i use to see pictures of u & her i would have a mental breakdown. i’ve honestly just stopped caring now. u do u. if i don’t make u happy then ok that’s fine. but i hope you’ll realize that no one will ever care abt u more than me. i’ve created this image in my head of u which is not who u rlly r. u could block me on everything say u hate me or literally do anything worse to me and i still would go back to u. i know i deserve better. i want to move on so bad. i’ve tried so hard to move on. i’m tired of feeling like this. it’s been years. i’m tired of being sad. i just wanna be in love w someone who wants me. not w someone who could care less if i was in there life or not. ive prayed for a long time that me & u will workout or that god will show me what to do. at this point i rlly just don’t even care anymore bc i’ve been in the worst place i’ve ever been in and ur making it worse. i’m going so downhill. i need to love myself. i haven’t been able to do that bc of u . u don’t love me so why should i love me? but now i realize that my mental health matters more than what u think of me. so if u wanna leave my life then that’s fine. just don’t come back when u realize that no one is down 4 u like i am.