Unsent Messages

Hey, I still miss you. We're talking even more and getting close again... at least I think we are but I don't know. I hope you're doing well and tech school is going well for you too. I hope that you know that I am way more than happy to be playing games with you again and that we goof off most of the time that when we talk. But I feel like you're uninterested in me. Like even as friends but I don't know. I just want US to be a thing again... I don't even know why though that's the thing. I wanted it so bad for so long and it was great but I miss the idea that I had you as more than a friend than anything. That you helped me whenever I didn't want to eat or sleep. And you made me feel happy with the life I had. All the stupid bets and dares we would give each other live rent free in my mind. The late night phone calls we had where we would just talk and fall asleep on the phone together, I miss that. I miss hearing your voice every morning when I would walk into the school and you would make some kind of joke or comment on something, or you stealing my phone after band. High school has been an adventure with you, I just wish I wouldn't of took the time we spent together for granted. I didn't get to see you when we were dating and I wish I would've. I wish I would've went to the mall with you and Jeff on your birthday and just hang out with you. Goof off and make you blush or make you have to act cool in public. But I didn't ask, I was nervous to ask my own father if I could see you so instead I made up an excuse on why I stayed home. I should've went to bed after asking dad and get up in time to go outside and ride with you... but I didn't. I think that even seeing you for a few seconds would've made a difference. But who knows? I mean, personal family things happen to everyone and I've got a gut feeling that if we stay close that I'll be able to learn how happy I am being this close with you without being in a relationship.