Unsent Messages

Its funny because as much as I never want to see you again, your the only one I want to see. Now you use the word "platonic" so that has me questioning everything you have ever done. If its platonic, why did u talk to me like that, why did u look at me like that, why did u tell me what you were "feeling"? You had me looking like a fool this entire time because of the things you told your "friends" as if I was obsessed with you. But they never heard the things you told me in private and I would never share that with anyone but it seemed mutual. I honestly do not know if your an asshole or if your just embarrassed but sharing the things I once told you is pretty fucked up. I would obviously never actually say this to your face because you still have a place in my heart but New Years was the last time you will ever hear from me, I promise :). Some days I miss your laugh and the stupid things you would say but than I remember how it all went down. I never had the chance to let you hear it from me first, someone else always had something to say. But the worse part is that you shared what I was telling you so many times so the trust is forever gone. I do constantly miss you and I like to remember our jokes. I just never realized the kind of guy you were until I was away but Im glad it did happen because now I know.