this is the last message i plan on writing for you. ever. i understand my words were harsh, but i knew that if i wasn’t blunt you wouldn’t understand the sincerity of them. i loved you, i truly did. but the night you told me that i was pretty much just the girl you came back to because you knew you could, i felt that love disappear in an instant. i guess i finally reached my limit, i finally realized that what we had wasn’t love. it never was. love is patient and kind. not fueled by animosity and pettiness. and when i say this, i mean it. i hope you find the girl you want oh so badly. i do. because while you’re chasing her, i’m gonna figure out my life. i never told you, but for the last 3 months i’ve planned on moving to montreal once i graduate. i wanted to attend McGill and major in forensic anthropology. i knew i could never tell you that though. because you have to stay here. in the states. and that’s okay. i hope that you find your way out, find a girl you actually can value and learn to love, and i hope i never hear from you again. i learned that you’re only sorry when something is heavy on your conscience. but you were never sorry for all of the times you actually hurt me. i’m finally getting the emotional support i need, i’m catching up on school, and i’ve already started saving up for my tuition. i finally get to leave. i get to leave you in the states, and be the person i’ve always wanted to be. you were my first boyfriend, and i don’t regret that. but i do regret how long i stayed around just to be beaten down. i finally realized my worth. i am worth so much more than being called “easy”, a “whore” and a “liar”. but it’s in the past. and so are you. and i hope i never have to speak to you again, hear your voice again, or listen to your sad attempts of belittling me any longer. i looked up to you for such a long time, but i now realize you’re just...miserable, and i couldn’t help you. i was never able to help you. but like i said, from this point forward i get to experience the great perhaps that is MY life. i’m not gonna wait for you anymore. i’m gonna live the life i’ve been missing out on. i’ll find TRUE love. go to my first real party, kiss someone in the rain, graduate, go to valas with new friends. and i’ll leave you here. in the back of my memory. and in the catacombs of this website. i once loved you, i did. but now, i don’t even know if i’m capable of even remotely caring for the memory of you. you simply just existed in my life at one point. but, i think it’s time i put my phone down now. i might go read my favorite book, reorganize my room again, do anything to remind myself that i control my life. not you. i’m finally free to live my life the way i’ve always wanted to. without feeling guilty or worrying about what you would think. because i now know you would never do the same for me. you’re just...not the right person for me. you were simply a learning experience. and that’s all you’ll ever be. i hope you don’t read this. ever. and if you do. well...goodbye isaac.