Today I realized that I'm not angry at you, in fact I've never been. In reality you hurt my heart so terribly. And for the past year, it has been easier to be angry that it was to acknowledge the pain you've caused me. Dear God, I miss you so much. I miss talking to you, and I miss your smile. I just miss you so much. But I know there's no going back. And the reality is as many good qualities you have, there's double the amount of mean, terrible qualities. I don't miss those. Maybe now I'll be able to move forward.