Ryan, I wish you could know how broken you've made me. I honestly feel like I am not capable of receiving love anymore. I thought I was going to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you, have my family with you. but, you broke me in ways you don't understand. I push everyone and everything away from me now because my brain thinks that anything I could have will be ruined and I am not able to be loved the way that I love.
