From: ABC
To: N
Date: December 14, 2020, 3:14 pm
i lied to you yesterday, im not in love with you anymore. just the idea of you. i've moved on like you have truth be told. all this time i realize that i've been mourning the idea of the what-ifs or the possibilities but i was mostly mourning the loss of our friendship. i don't think i loved you, i know what love is now. love is harsh, it keeps you up awake until 2am trying to figure out how to get out of it, it has you imagining life 4 years later and visiting each other, it has you wanting to watch her fall asleep on a video call, it has you burning with fire for what could come. i fell in love with someone new. i fell in love with someone who understands my traumas and the reasons why i do the things i do. i fell in love with someone who is smart, talented, so very pretty, kind, and everything i wanted to be, she's someone i admire, and i've moved on, probably before i realized it. but yesterday's conversation, i think i needed it to just fully accept that i was just lingering onto a ghost. goodbye, thank you for all the memories we've had together, for the ones that were painful, the ones that were happy, and the ones in between.
