Unsent Messages

I can’t get you out of my head. and I don’t want to.

I know this feels like we threw our hearts through a garbage disposal.

I read all of these to Ian every day and sometimes I worry that one of the hopeless ones is from you and you didn’t sign it. but then I find yours.

I don’t know how to do this either. I still want to text you about every little thing. but also all the big hard things I don’t really know how to say.

and I want to hug you and play with your hair and hold onto you really really tight and never let go.

I know it just feels like a black hole right now. But I see light at the end of the tunnel.

I think God is giving me peace in reminding me he loves you somehow even more than I do. and it might be selfish but I think i’m your soulmate and we’re better together in the long run then apart or with someone else.

I’m going to keep wearing my ring everyday.

and I’m going to keep writing you a letter every week. and I still have my vows on my dresser with your letter. and all the photos you gave me. I wish you had kept some for yourself.