Unsent Messages

i hate that i care about you so much. i hate that your behaviors are so toxic but you won’t do anything about it. i hate that you told me that i was helping you get clean, and now i can’t do that anymore. i hate that every day that we don’t talk i still worry about you and wonder how your day went. i hate that i can’t look you in the eyes and tell you that i love you, it’s been so long and i don’t even know if i’ll ever get the opportunity to again. i hate that we don’t trust each other anymore. i hate that when i look at the left side of my bed, sometimes i can see you there like you were in february. i hate that we can’t communicate and that things are so complicated. i hate that i still look at your socials. i hate that you’ve moved on but i keep giving myself hope.