Unsent Messages

i am beyond sorry i am hurting you so badly. i just want you to be happy. you are so safe to me, but it isn't right for us to be together. i would be so torn apart if you said that to me, i cant imagine what you are going through. i want you to be happy, and whatever we can do to get you there i want. even if its hard. it will be hard to see you with someone else. but this is life. it was so fun while it lasted, and the end came, and now we have to learn from it and move on from the relationship. i want to have you in my life in the future because i care about you so deeply. i want the best for you. i want to hold you and i want to be held by you, so it will be hard to see you don't want that anymore or have it with someone else. but maybe i will too. we both still care. i just want you to know i care so much about you and i am trying my hardest. i wish you the best, it is so sad to be separated and not be able to talk regularly but its whats best for both of us to be happy. it started with you being happy because of me and you need that on your own. this is a hard adjustment and i miss you too. i have so many thoughts and i am scared to talked to you because i want to get it over with, i want us to move and come back and have fun and not have to deal with this messy part. this is what comes with caring about people/ it will all work out in the end. i love you, i may have fallen out of love with you, but i still love you and care about you and always always want the best. we can do this. for ourselves and each other. i hope our talk goes well and i hope you re doing ok. i am scared to decide not to talk to you if that's what you want, but ultimily the goal is for us to be happy and be able o have funt ogather without the lephint in the room. however it works out it will. things were so good and i didn't think it would get this complicated. i didn't think that the person i feel so comfortable with would have to be distant from and talk about hwot to move on. its hard and it hurts. but the altermntive feels wrong. this is right. i am growing up, you are a part of it. I've learned so much from you, thank you. i love you and i want you in my life right now but we need to do whats best so ill see what you say when we talk. it is all a matter of time. i love you