Unsent Messages

My first love, I really understood late that you were, maybe I was afraid to face who I am, I'm afraid I was not brave enough to tell the world "Hey bitches, my first love is a girl, I am also a girl and that , to hell with everything "
Perhaps you will never know how I really felt for you since I did not understand it very well, we were best friends since I was 14, today I am 19, and you are exactly 18, although I have not seen your face for a year, I know that every day you have to be prettier than the last, you know ... when I miss you I look at myself in the mirror since you and I always had similar features and that's why everyone thought we were twins, seeing My face and thinking that you will also be in Some other mirror when seeing me leaves a void in my heart.
Being your best friend I had to see you in the arms of other boys, I always thought that my jealousy was because I did not want them to hurt you but in reality what I wanted was to be them, to have always been the only one so that you would look at me the same way.
In your arms I spent my warmest days, I even miss you touching my face, I miss stroking your hair, I miss seeing your eyes full of joy and your weird faces, I always thought it was wrong to love you like that but today I think it was not, because There is no love as pure as the one I feel for you, yes, I am a girl and I fell in love with you. (You and I will always be Maddy)