Unsent Messages

i love you. i always wanted to say it but we had a limit and i couldn’t give myself fully to you but i love you so fucking much. i miss all of your little details and i used to tell you how special i felt to be able to be the one you chose to be close to you and get to see the details. we have a birthmark in the same spot. you always tried to pay for me and whenever we went to a store you bought something new bc you liked trying new things even if it ended up being bad. id do anything to have you for just a little bit longer but you don’t want me like that. i wish you wanted me how i wanted you. i was waiting for you to come along but i was just a sidetrack for you. god i miss you and your little details and the different voices you had. the soft voice the angry voice, even though you never yelled at me. you were beautiful even when your face was puffy from crying the night we broke up. you’re so beautiful and id do anything just to look at you the way i used to. not even to have you look at me, just to look at you. your face made all my troubles disappear. you said i made your insecurities feel like nothing and even writing this hurts bc i know i’ll never have you back the same way i did. you made me feel so on top of the world with every little thing you did. i knew we were strangers the time i told you how sad and upset i was and you didn’t offer to facetime till i felt better. you used to stay up even when you had work just to make sure i was ok. there’s a million more things i could say but i love you. so much. i’ll be ready to let you go someday bc you obviously don’t feel the same about me but i love you and i think i always will, at least for awhile. i love you and all of your perfect little insecurities