Unsent Messages

i feel so guilty for saying that i want to die. i don’t even know why i want to die. when i think about it, i don’t have any “traumatic” experiences that could’ve made me this way. i’ve had a pretty good life and when i try to come up with a solid reason, it almost feels as if it’s such a minor problem. i’m scared of speaking out about my problems because of how small they are. i hate that i feel this way about my life but i can’t help it. i hate living this way and it’s probably why i don’t want to live anymore. but i feel so guilty for you leaving you and my family behind if i were to actually do it. i feel awful that i have to dump my problems onto you but i have no idea what to do. i don’t know how to actually talk to someone about it and i don’t know how they’d react. i get so embarrassed talking about it because i think people would think differently about me. i already feel like a huge burden to people i don’t want to talk about my problems to everyone. i’m so sorry for making you always worry about my safety and state of mind. i’m so sorry nasha, i don’t want to keep hurting you.