From: ABC
To: brayden
Date: December 3, 2020, 5:22 am
okay. i don't think you realize what you're doing but it's fucking me up. i can go hours without thinking about you and be perfectly fine, but the second i think about you i'm so sad and angry at you. one day you're texting me and we're talking and i'm laughing, making me feel like we still have a chance, even in the slighest. but the next day you simply act like i don't exist. you're active all day but i'm sitting there on delivered for 29 hours. don't even get me started on the fact that you ONLY ever start a conversation with me if it has something to do with something sexual. i hate to think that's all you see me as now. someone to satisfy your sexual needs? we both know i'm worth so much more than that, yet i still feed into it because for some reason i still love your attention. seeing you like my post or send me a video or talk to me makes me feel so good and i don't understand why. i know you're lying to me too. you sit there and tell me that you're so unhappy with her and she's annoying and blah blah blah but then one of her old friends who i'm friends with sends me her posts everytime she posts a picture of the two of you. you're fucking lying to me brayden. and for what reason? obviously you're perfectly happy with her, right? cause if not, you're lying to her. and don't get me wrong, i hate her. before you started dating i never liked her, but she doesn't deserve to go through the heart break i did. i wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. you put me through literal hell. now, five months later, i'm just starting to try and talk to people. and i feel so bad, because the guy i'm talking to knows nothing about you or what you put me through. he's a great guy, i'm genuinely so happy when i'm with him. but for some reason i can't fucking stop thinking about you. i want to stop, i want to go be happy with him. but everytime he calls, for a split second i think it could be you. because i have never been so happy in my life then when you used to call me. and i hate that. because now, when i think about myself happy, i automaticly think about being without. i'm not even trying to. i can't help it. and i hate that it's all i fucking think about.