Unsent Messages

you know i love you and i feel like you hate me for it and never want to talk to me, which is so annoying because thats all i want to do. we have the same basic conversation twice a day and now you've started just airing me and i just expect it to happen. i hate you and the hold you have over me. its so unfair that i feel like i have to suppress how i feel everyday so that i don't sound like i'm obsessed with you because i don't know how you are gonna receive my interest in our conversations. i used to feel so stupid when i was getting three word responses from you but i wanted to continue the conversation and now i don't bother. the fact i'm the only one putting in effort to our friendship sometimes hurts more than the fact that you love her. you make me feel like i shouldn't like you because you like her but then that makes you a hypocrite because she likes someone else too. but, you know i'm always yours and hers biggest supporter. i just wish you would talk to me and actually show some interest, now especially since i cant see you or at least pretend please. i hate how i'm treated so different to all your other girl friends and i don't know what it is about me that makes you do that. i just wish that any slight thing was different, anything that just made me happier. i miss you, i love you and i hate you, all more than anyone else. i wish things were more transparent and mature between us so that we could talk about it but its whatever you know. i dont even need to sign this off because you'll know who its from from reading the first line, lmao :/