Unsent Messages

fuck you lily. You took advantage of that soft spot I had for you. You were the first person I met and really fucking enjoyed being around. You meant so much to me without realising. I often think about how youre doing, wonder if you think the same. I doubt it. Anyways im doing better now. started talking to someone but it doesn't feel as good as what we had. It feels wrong. I cant even talk to a girl without comparing her to you. Ive changed so so much it be funny to see your reaction. I hope one day we bump into each other or meet at a party and were the only two not talking to anyone so you walk over to me. Or one day I get that tap on the shoulder, it turn around and its you. I sometimes dream about you messaging me. I still have that custom message tone for just you. I dont remember what it sounds like anymore but I know if I hear it, everything would stop for a little while. I really hate you for what you did to me. I can live with it. One thing that's always going to be stuck in my head is the question why. I never got an answer and I always think about the reasons whenever im drunk. I cant drink anymore and be happy. Thanks lily. Hope youre doing well.