Unsent Messages

You were my first kiss. I will always love you. Even though I'm in a longterm relationship I still think about you. I wouldn't get back into a relationship with you. But I do miss how you used to kiss me, and how we were better off friends and how we knew it. You did some things that have hurt me, like trying to do stuff when I didn't want to, but I've gotten past that. I miss being your friend. I miss you gaslighting me about emo music when I was going through my emo stage. I miss when we used to sit in the lunchroom and laugh. I miss being your #1 friend after our emo stage and after we tried to date for a month. I wouldn't say you were my first boyfriend, because we were friends that tried to but couldn't. And when we couldn't, we decided being friends was better. But you were my first kiss, and I miss that, our memories. I haven't had a real conversation or relationship with you since 2017, but know that I still think of you as my closest friend. But I would never date you again.